Violent Laughter: Should I Laugh at That?

“Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable.” Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Maxims and Reflections

 

Image courtesy of National Geographic.

I love to laugh. Loud and long and clear, although it usually doesn’t result in me floating to the ceiling. Laughter seems pretty innocent, yet there appears to be some pretty strong anti-laughter sentiments running through scripture (the Topical Guide and Index entries on ‘Laughter’ illustrate this, D&C 59:15 and 88:121 among the strongest anti-laughter statements).

I started thinking about what I laugh at, after watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier a few weeks ago. There’s a large amount of violence in the film, unsurprisingly given the genre. In the opening action sequence I found myself laughing at the violence and the killing that was being portrayed onscreen. Almost immediately after, I realized what I was doing and stopped, thinking to myself- why was I laughing? People were being killed and seriously injured. That’s not something to laugh at. I took some momentary solace in the fact that the theater was laughing alongside me. Quickly that solace disappeared as I realized the implications of that laughter.

I was troubled by this briefly, but sort of shrugged it off and half-heartedly resolved to keep a better check on my reactions to violence, until a few days ago when I was watching my brother play soccer. Some kids on the team fell and rolled around on the ground, seeming to feign injury hoping for a call. I laughed. Loudly. Then the coach came to the field and escorted the player off, who remained off the field for the rest of the game. Should I have laughed? The whole premise of America’s Funniest Home Videos and a significant section of YouTube is based around finding the unfortunate physical mishaps of others funny. But that’s not really an excuse.

My concerns with my laughter at these two instances caused me to wonder about what I find funny in general. I have a bit of a dark sense of humor (some may term it dark or gallows humor) that often causes me to laugh at things that cause others to gasp/cry/scream/otherwise negatively react [A Modest Proposal, Puritan sermons about hell-fire (Jonathan Edwards’ “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God”, for example), BYU devotionals about sex-cookies, the ‘to the pain’ monologue from The Princess Bride, this entry about Sonseed (the band behind “Jesus is A Friend of Mine”) with a band member dying after choking on a sandwich (please tell me, I’m not the only one that laughed out loud when they read that…) and a story I wrote years ago (titled 87) about a serial killer that only killed on holidays, but was followed by the cheery The Beatles’ tune “Here Comes the Sun” to warn all that were in danger]. 

So, what is the point of laughter? When is it acceptable? Are there topics that are taboo and should not be made light of? Laughter is one of my defense mechanisms, I suppose, used to deflect the seriousness of some terrible situations (literally failing tests, incredibly unfortunate social interactions—“see you…sometime”—manipulation bordering on blackmail and family dysfunction, for example).   

The following quotes give a nice idea of what laughter is for me.

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” Mark Twain

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt." Erma Bombeck

“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” Robert Frost

I think laughter is a key to my largely relaxed, easy-going, stress-free demeanor. If I didn’t laugh off whatever happened, life would be much grimmer. Laughter seems key to joy, unless I don’t understand joy and have been living for one of those lesser, fleeting incarnations—pleasure and happiness. There may be a danger in becoming desensitized to the reality of pain and suffering, if we laugh too frequently. Yet, maybe that laughter can give us insight to touch those that do feel that pain, helping them to transcend it and find the humor in the situation. As Erma said, it’s a thin line.

I’ll keep sharpening my weapon of laughter, holding me back from the cliffs of insanity (hah!), ridding it of the rust and dullness of cheap and disturbing laughs (looking at you, Violent action scenes). Sure, I’ll probably still find myself laughing alone, resulting in awkward and potentially judgmental stares, but I’m used to that. After all if God weeps, I sure hope He/She/They laugh…

Christ’s Peace: Lessons From Harry Potter

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”- John 14:27

What is the peace that Christ offers us, different from what the world has? Perhaps the clue to this lies in the surrounding verses that center on love- loving Jesus and therefore keeping his commandments and loving our neighbors as ourselves.

And what is the greatest sign of love? “Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

Serving at once as a prophetic statement of what Jesus was about to do and a teaching about what true love and devotion to God and our fellow brothers and sisters means truth is there. Sometimes it’s hard for me to really grasp what it meant for Christ to give His life for mine and yours.

One of the greatest compliments I ever received was from my cross country coach, who said I would be willing to take a bullet for someone. I’d like to think that’s true, but I don’t know. Can you ever know before you’re there?

Anyway, it still is hard for me to grasp that reality. Luckily, literature and film are filled with types and shadows of Christ that help me understand what Christ sacrificed for me. Aslan in Narnia, Aragorn, Frodo and Gandalf in LOTR, Optimus Prime in Transformers, Thor, Sidney Carton in A Tale of Two Cities, Superman almost always, arguably Batman in The Dark Knight Trilogy and none other than Harry Potter.

This passage from the end of the series encapsulates that feeling of self-sacrifice and the power that that love gives us over death and evil. [Credit to a good friend, Heather, for quoting this on Facebook, inspiring in part this post.]

"You won't be killing anyone else tonight," said Harry as they circled, and stared into each other's eyes, green into red. "You won't be able to kill any of them ever again. Don't you get it? I was ready to die to stop you from hurting theses people--"

"But you did not!"

"--I meant to, and that's what did it. I've done what my mother did. They're protected from you. Haven't you noticed how none of the spells you put on them are binding? You can't torture them. You can't touch them." 

Love protects us and our friends. It calls on us to do hard things, to be willing to die for God and those that we care about. Sure, most of us probably won’t be asked to literally give our lives, but it could happen. I mean, with how wicked the world is becoming and everything ;)

It doesn’t seem like there’s much peace involved there. Yet, for me, the peace is in knowing that I’m doing what feels right, following my convictions of what is true and “the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32). Sometimes it comes with an anxiousness or uneasy feeling that you’ve gotta do something. Maybe you don’t know what that is or feel like whatever it is you have to do is totally inadequate. Like Speed Racer, who said in response to a similar concern, “Maybe not, but it's[racing] the only thing I know how to do and I gotta do something.”

Harry Potter didn’t start off wanting to die to save the world, that happened after a journey of 7 books (and 8 movies). And maybe that’s why I understood more what Christ did for me because of HP- I grew up with him and felt like maybe, just maybe, I could be Harry.

I imagine that Harry or Christ could have used these words, penned by Dickens for Sidney Carton (and quoted by Commissioner Gordon at Bruce’s grave), “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

Love saved Harry. Love saved Christ. Love saves Me. Love saves Us. Sometimes though, it’s our love that needs to do the saving.

Am I an Apostate?

Am I an Apostate?

I’m a feminist, a liberal and an aspiring intellectual. I occasionally watch R-rated movies. I support same-sex marriage (which Pres. Monson said is ok) [EDIT: To clarify, I am not claiming that Pres. Monson supports or condones same-sex marriage, rather that he believes faithful members of the Church can be on both sides of the issue politically]. And I stood in line with Ordain Women at the Tabernacle on April 5, 2014, in solidarity with my brothers and sisters pleading for the question of women’s ordination to be brought before God.

The same Spirit that testified to me of God’s unconditional, overwhelming, uncompromising Love and the power of the Book of Mormon, led me there. That same Spirit that brought me to BYU. That helped me find some lost clothes when I was only 8 or 9 years old. That inspired me to go on a mission when I did. That brought countless words and scriptures to my remembrance as I worked with and taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ in Lithuania. That witnessed to me time and again that God loves me and all His children. That guided my words as I gave priesthood blessings. That only a few days ago witnessed to me that Pres. Packer (who’s words have caused me and close friends pain) is a devoted disciple of Christ, that despite our differences of opinion, he acts out of a deep, abiding love for our Savior- the same love that motivates me, that we may disagree, but we want the same thing- a better world, a more loving, righteous, Christ-like community.

That Spirit led me (since my youth, but largely over the past 6-12 months) to support Ordain Women and stand with my fellow saints, who want to more fully participate in the Kingdom of God. If that was wrong, then I don’t know what I can believe anymore. If I can’t trust the Spirit that brought me to where I am today, then everything I believe falls apart.

I’ve been troubled by gender inequality in the Church for as long as I can remember, asking my mom when I was super young if she could ever be the prophet. When she said no, I asked why and I haven’t found an answer that satisfied my soul yet.

Maybe that’s why I feel anxious when others start bashing those that support female ordination as being power-hungry and faithless. As apostates and heretics that don’t go to Church or love their Savior. That don’t understand the doctrine and are working to destroy the Church from within.

I can’t believe that’s the case. Asking for the prophet to pray about something, seems to suggest a clear understanding of the doctrine- that a change like this can only come from the Prophet himself, even if it is the result of culturally influenced practice (like blacks and the priesthood).

I firmly believe that women will have the priesthood one day. I think the temple makes that clear. When will that day come? I don’t know. But if women will have the priesthood in the eternities, why not now? Isn’t this life all about making the Church and the world more and more like Zion, and the life hereafter?

I also think there is something to be said for revelation only coming when the Church can accept it. Look at the members of the Quorum of the 12- they likely don’t agree on everything (historically they definitely have not), so having them all agree on something is sort of a litmus test for if the members are prepared to accept the doctrine.

This may seem a bit offensive-- that God would wait to reveal certain truths, even if that means perpetuating unjust and hurtful practices, but to me is empirically proven. Blacks and the priesthood are one example. After all, Joseph Smith said, “Brethren, if I were to tell you all I know of the kingdom of God, I do know that you would rise up and kill me” (Parley P. Pratt in MS 55 (September 4, 1893): 585).

Some may be concerned with acting in a way that is not directly the same as what Church leaders have taught, even obeying the voice of future prophets to neglect the words of current prophets. I have wondered about this, and have a couple brief comments. First, the members need to prepare themselves for future revelation, which won’t happen unless people talk about different ideas that could be revealed.

Also, Doctrine and Covenants 58:26- “For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.”

And Article of Faith 9, “We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.”

The path I walk is not an easy one, but discipleship was never meant to be easy, was it? I'm torn between the ideals that I feel in my soul and the reality that I see all around me. Yet, within the Church I will stay, working to bring reality closer to the ideals that burn within me. 

The Blessing and Curse of General Conference

I haven’t been quite sure how to write this (partially since the two opposing audiences would draw equal measure of skepticism from my use of ‘blessing’ and ‘curse’ to describe General Conference). One draft drifted into a discussion about female ordination (a worthwhile discussion, but not what I initially intended to write about), but I think I have something.

Conference has become a mixed experience for me, although it is net positive. Most reading this understand the basic reasons for watching (hear a prophet’s voice, chance to hear what God wants to say to you, etc.), but may not have considered the reasons that GenConf would be painful to some.

Having felt the pain of hearing myself and friends unfairly misrepresented and unnecessarily divisive language spoken from the pulpit, I wanted to share how there can still be value in spite of (and perhaps because of) such speech.

My framework for evaluating this differs from some (potentially useful thoughts I’ve shared before for understanding where I’m coming from here, here, and here), but I hope is useful. Anyway, here are my five reasons to watch and participate in GenConf despite the negatives.

1.    A Tool for Examining Faith

Choosing to confront yourself with opinions and thoughts that differ from your own can be a way to grow your own faith. Conflict can be a pathway to reaching greater truth. By considering and hearing thoughts and perspectives that you disagree with, you are forced to counter the reasoning presented and can identify the flaws within your own thinking and potentially change your mind. 

2.    A Way to Start Conversations

The topics addressed in GenConf will be staples of conversation within Mormondom for at least the next six months. Therefore a familiarity with them can provide opportunities for thoughtful discussion with others that may not understand the potential harm in the language that was used or comments that were made. There are some land mines in this approach depending on how strictly those you are discussing with define ‘doctrine’ and hold to statements of each and every general authority as doctrine- so be warned.

3.    A Means to Personal Revelation

I have found that watching GenConf leads to me receiving personal revelation, whether that aligns with what is being spoken or not, I feel the Spirit teaching me things and bringing questions and ideas to mind that I had not previously considered. The Spirit in which the talks are prepared and given facilitates this, regardless of the content that is being presented.

4.    A Source of Wisdom (or Doctrine/Truth)

GenConf can present wisdom and insight that I have not considered, based on the life experience and perceptions of those that are speaking. There can be doctrinal pronouncements and the teaching of truths that strengthen my commitment to follow the Savior. Even with all the questioning, reading and thinking that I do, there will be things that I won’t consider that could be brought to my attention by GenConf and that is valuable.

5.    A Place of Comfort (aka Pres. Uchtdorf)

Pres. Uchtdorf, the Silver Fox. What can I say more?

But, seriously, GenConf can be a place where hands are extended and healing begins to take place. These addresses seem to come largely from Pres. Uchtdorf, but there are always a few gems that provide a dab of the balm of Gilead.

It may help to remember that GenConf as a whole is intended for the entirety of the Church, so not every single talk may be of benefit to you. And that is ok. At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m rolling my eyes at the cliché-filled remarks of some soon-to-be-forgotten member of the Seventy.

May we all be a bit more sensitive to the pain of others and try to find the silver lining, even when it’s buried in the dark, fear-mongering storm cloud of certain speakers (you know who I mean). There usually is a diamond in the rough (to cram clichés in here after I just bashed them).