Mission Lessons: Reviewed

At Church this past Sunday and then at a Stake priesthood meeting, there was a recurring theme. A large part of that theme was that we should not forget the things we learned as missionaries or slip back into bad habits, but that we should grow and build on that spiritual plane that was reached. Since my faith has undergone a fairly significant transition/transformation since I’ve been home, I began to wonder what I had learned and whether I still would count those as lessons and if not, how would I understand the experiences that led to them.

Luckily, I could fairly easily do this, since I had written up the things that I had learned as a missionary, almost exactly two years ago (I still had a few months left to adjust them, but my lessons learned were about the same). Here is that list, with commentary:

      1.   How to better seek and follow the Spirit
Definitely still applicable and a large part of my spiritual learning and journey. In fact, without the level of confidence in following the Spirit that I gained as a missionary, I don’t know if I would have made the same decisions faith-wise that I have.

2.    That God loves all His children
Yes. This has served as a cornerstone of my faith and belief in God and continues to be a large factor in the ways that I receive revelation.

3.    Godly sorrow- sadness for sin as well as those who choose to live in sin
Probably, although what I classify as ‘sin’ or ‘living in sin’ has likely shifted to something more nuanced.

4.    Everything has a purpose
I don’t think I could say this. While I would argue that there may be more purpose than we often think and that you definitely can find a purpose in everything if that gives you solace [like the difference between author based and reader based literary criticism], the idea of everything having a purpose is strongly linked (for me at least) to the idea of a chessmaster God moving us like pawns. As I reject that notion, I have to reject the idea that everything has a purpose.

5.    God has a specific plan for me and I covenanted to do certain things here for Him
Yes and I think so. I kinda dig the idea of there being a rough life sketch in the pre-earth life where God sat us down and went over the game plan and then sent us here with no memory, but with a packet of clues that would be useful and necessary to complete our mission (just like the underrated film Paycheck starring Ben Affleck, Uma Thurman and Paul Giamatti). There are some wrinkles in the idea of foreordination for sure, but overall, I like it.

6.    Part of said plan
Yeah, at least in a small sense. I definitely have felt guidance and direction in making decisions that would be a part of the ‘plan,’ so yes.

7.    How to pray
Still working on this one, but definitely improved, especially when I started praying in Lithuanian and began using less formal language. The more ritualistic pray is then the harder time I have with it, I think my best prayers come as I read scripture or work on writing my thoughts. It’s sort of like a communication where I am saying whatever and God responds, or simply nods encouragingly.

8.    Importance of sacrifice
I think so, but still undecided. Especially in a practical sense- how does this function? I’ve felt the power of sacrifice, but on my own terms- with God.

9.    Need for member-missionary work
Yes, although I feel like my role in that may be to help broaden acceptance and diversity of thought within Mormonism, rather than focusing on bringing in new members.

10. Everything goes back to Love and Fear
Indeed. Two fundamental forces, methinks. After all, all you need is love.

11. Power of testimony (can’t argue with it)
In certain situations. Listening sincerely may have more converting power however and must precede testimony.

12. God cares about the little things (sour milk)
Since God is so loving, I still think He cares about anything that may matter to us- be it big or small. If we don’t really want His care or oversight than He probably won’t say anything.

13. No coincidences
See 4.

14. How to listen
Constant need for reminders and improvement, but listening is definitely important.

15. Importance of thinking before you speak
Yep.

16. Revelation- available daily, or how much God will guide us if we let Him
I think that generally God can be more involved in our lives if we want, but that for certain individuals or time periods, that involvement is limited for growth or some other reason. More variance here than I initially intended, I would say.

17. To look for Victory and How to Find it
Winston Churchill. Still value in finding success no matter where it is.

18. Mosiah 18:30
Lithuania still is and likely always will be my waters of Mormon.

19. Vision
Not sure on this one. I’ve adjusted my approach to goals and success, but recognize the importance of having a ‘vision’ of sorts for your life.
 

I feel pretty good about that. The understanding and implementation may be different than I had thought before, but the fundamental lessons and growth that I experience as a missionary is still valid and applicable.

Top Films 2013 & Most Anticipated 2014 Films

I'm a little late to the game, but as an avid film consumer, I thought I should on occasion add some cinematic inspired posts here. I present my top 5 films from 2013 (admittedly lacking, since there are a host of critically acclaimed films that I missed, some on purpose and others that I simply haven’t gotten around to seeing yet) as well as my most anticipated films of 2014.

MY 2013 TOP FIVE

5. The Way, Way Back: Heartbreakingly tragic and beautiful look at adolescence and growing up. Moments of laughter sprinkled throughout. Definitely worth it.

4. The Great Gatsby: I’m a bit of a sucker for Baz Luhrman’s unique directive vision (I love his Romeo + Juliet) and Gatsby oozed with it. The film captured the essence of the novel, in evoking the emptiness and loneliness of parties and extravagance. It looked amazing, but there was a haunting, tragic undercurrent to the entire film. The music was spot on, serving to bridge the world of Gatsby with our own, allowing a stronger connection between modern audiences and Gatsby and his associates.

3. Frozen: Entertaining and delightful. The songs are catchy and remain stuck in your head for days. In addition to all of that, the film provides strong female protagonists and a twist on the standard Disney-fied-idea of true love for the better, building on the progressive steps taken with Mulan, Tangled and Brave. Positive, uplifting and joyous entertainment.

2. Pacific Rim: Some would be appalled at the inclusion of this film on any sort of best of list, but it did exactly what it set out to do. Probably the most fun I had at a movie theater all year. Sure, it’s a bit far-fetched and over-the-top. But it’s giant robots fighting giant monsters. Awesome. It reignited the spark of childhood in me, reminding me of the joys of Power Rangers and imagination. And Idris Elba cancelled the apocalypse, how much more epic can you get?

1. Gravity: Breathtaking. Adrenaline pumping. I have never been on the edge of my seat, anxiously anticipating what was coming next like I was watching Gravity. And, it looks gorgeous. I was absorbed by space, wanting to drift away and float in the terrifying magnificence.

2014’s MOST ANTICIPATED (no order)

Interstellar: Phenomenal cast. Christopher Nolan. Space. Tantalizing teaser. What else do you need?

Transcendence: Another promising cast. Intriguing premise and first series of trailers.

X-Men: Days of Future Past: YES. X-Men are back, ideally solving the myriad of continuity issues between the original trilogy and First Class and bringing together the best from all of the movies. Xavier and Magneto were stellar in First Class and seeing them play off their older selves played by greats, Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan, will be a treat. And the trailer looks epic.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Lots of weirdness here, but Marvel Studios has yet to really disappoint me. I’m skeptical of this, but given Marvel’s excellent track record, my adoration of superhero films and soft spot for sci-fi, my fingers are crossed for this one. Superheroes, one of whom is a gun-toting raccoon, and space. Perhaps this can become like a cross of The Avengers and Star Wars.

The Grand Budapest Hotel: Wes Anderson. Another phenomenal cast. The trailer promises it’ll be filled with Wes Anderson’s signature quirky wit.

Defending Examining Faith

It's been some time since I posted anything, but I hope to be more regular this year in writing, so here we go. I have several thoughts and ideas in the works, hopefully to be polished and ready soon.

I’ve been thinking recently about some close and not as close friends and their departures from Mormonism. Some, given my politics, skepticism and unorthodoxy, would suggest that I may be better off joining them. Yet, I can’t. I am deeply Mormon and love Mormonism. I too have faced and continue to face different struggles and issues with the Church, yet those problems aren’t ultimately destructive for me. They can be and I feel that my faith’s resilience is in large part due to my tendency to question and examine my faith.

This tendency is central to my defining and focus within Mormonism and is a common thread throughout much of my commentary. Here’s just a brief justification for living in such a way that you examine your faith.

Two main analogies serve within the Church to form the cultural view of Faith- the armor of God (with faith as the shield), and Alma’s discourse about the seed (which has been erroneously applied to faith, even though for Alma, the seed is the Word).

1.     The Shield of Faith. I’ve enjoyed this idea for a while. A tangential anecdote to illustrate. As a missionary, we were asked to think of ways to build our faith daily and to send our thoughts and ideas to the Assistant’s. I have never really enjoyed this sort of thing and what it degenerates to (pray, imagine the person behind the door saying ‘yes,’ picture everyone dressed in white, etc. Those ideas may work for some people, but not for me and my somewhat jaded, snarky, skeptical self). So, I suggested somewhat seriously, but with my tongue pretty firmly planted in my cheek- to create a shield of faith to include in our planners to block disheartening and otherwise discouraging thoughts. For good measure, I went ahead and drew a shield, with some highly quotable scripture (something like 2 Timothy 4:7 with Paul’s deathbed words), ghetto-laminated it and placed it in the front of my planner. Of course, the AP’s loved the idea and I grew somewhat attached to my shield, and would create a new one every transfer. I also added a Sword of Truth to my divine armory (one time I drew a lightsaber, since truth is light, and what is a lightsaber if not a Sword of Light?). Anyway, if faith is really the shield that protects us from spiritual danger, we better examine it and find the weak points or we’ll end up like Smaug, with a glaring weak spot that some dark arrow will fly into, leading to our terrible death. In the examination, we may realize that we’ve got to rebuild our shield, with it taking on a different shape. Maybe, we don’t have any problems or weak points and we can focus on adding additional layers of strength and nuance to our shield, finding connections between different topics.

2.     The Seed. The moral here is the same. If faith is a seed, then we need to nourish and care for it, always checking for disease or other issues. There is much more on the individual here in the actual building of the faith than with the shield. Maybe the seed grows fine, until there is some issue as a full-grown tree and you need to prune off whole branches. Again, if faith is neglected, like a seed, it’ll die. You can think it’s fine, until someone goes to grab an apple and the tree is withered and dead. Or maybe you thought it grew into a tree, but haven’t checked in awhile, so you go back and then turns out your poor, unexamined faith-tree is malnourished and you basically need to start over from the ground up.

I’m not trying to imply that all those that leave the Church do so because they had not sufficiently examined their faith from a younger age. That may be true in some cases and for others, the act of examining may have sparked the thoughts that led to the departure. Yet, I believe that an individual is better off living a life with an examined, thoroughly questioned faith. One where they know why they believe what they believe. It can be a hard road, when no one else seems to care, but a road worth walking.